For you to tackle that honey project! Macho, macho – man, your honey wants a macho man! She knows you’ve just come in off the road. You’ve gone through the Bud Light and you know Dale just isn’t going to get the checkered flag until the next lunar eclipse. It’s time to get off your duff and get to those “items” on her list.
What about those pantry doors? Doesn’t something need painting? Is the above ground pool as green as pea soup? How long do you expect her to put with that clogged sink? The electric garage door opener not working? The fans needs dusting? What about all that “grunge” under the stove? The light bulb in the hallway that burnt out three years ago – don’t you think it’s time to replace it?
Can’t you hear it? Your name is being called by Lowe’s and Home Depot. Why are all your tools in the truck? That pink toolbox you bought her last Valentine’s Day, instead of jewelry, remains unopened. She was not happy and did not appreciate your sense of humor. Your job as an over the truck trucker is difficult, but ever try being a stay home mom? Remember, you get to leave and she doesn’t.
She has her job, her unreasonable boss, her needy friends, her mother, your mother, the kids, school, the principal, the teacher, the PTA, clothes shopping, laundry, the grocery store, her hips and hair, the bills, the check book, the car, tires and that darn air conditioning that keeps going on the fritz, vacuuming, homework, making breakfast, the kids lunch and dinner and everything else.
And you drive the truck. Big deal. You’re a good father, but when she’s there – live and in person – when the kids fall or wonder why you’re not home. You’re responsibility is 24/7, the truck, the load and running the miles, but she has everything else 47/7/365! You get home-time and expect to “veg” to recover and get the energy to do it all over again in a few days, but, truth be told, stuff need to be get done.
That 4 hour energy drink works for you on the road, it can also work at home. How crooked do you want the blinds in the bedroom to get before you replace them? The dark blue sheet that keeps the light and heat out isn’t Architectural Digest material. The deer head you shot with your father in high school is missing an eye ball and your daughter says it gives her nightmares.
Remember that singing bass that plays music and bends on the wall, it stopped worked two Christmas’ ago. It keeps falling down when anyone tries to use the guest bathroom. Your garage is a candidate for that hoarders reality show. Somewhere in there are the baseball cards from your childhood, that, if sold, might let you get the air in your wife’s car fixed.
What about the old pickup dead in the tall weeds on the front lawn. Some of the neighbors ignore your wife because of it. Can you at least buy a new basketball net? For our Canadian readers, a new hockey goal net – ey. If you swing the facet on the kitchen sink to the right water sprays on the parrot in the dining room. It almost died twice of pneumonia. The are brown spiders in the BBQ grill. Your youngest son’s bed needs a new wheel on the frame so he can stop sleeping as if he’s parked on Mt. Eagle.
Taking care of just a few things, would make her sooo happy. When you’re done, make dinner. That’ll really make an impression. Trust me, you’ll get back to your life on the road a happier camper.
PS/I had a real sexy hunk of macho man shirtless with a tool belt photo for you ladies, but we do have standards here on Life On The Road. Here’s the link to the photo if your interested, HUNK.
Just kidding, here it is, HUNKIER.
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