This is the 1st time that the blog has been solely written by a guest writer. Mr Nick Ireland is a part time writer and does do a little magazine work, but after reading this I think he should be doing a little more magazine work! I’ll leave you in his capable hands.
The job was an unexpected bonus. I thought my Formula 1 season was over, but I was busy sunning myself in Sicily when I got a text asking if I wanted to do a drive from the circuit at Spa to Monza on my return. I jumped at the chance as August had threatened to be a quiet month, and this was five days work on offer. My normal job is double driving (double manning in normal trucking language!) mostly for the tour trucking companies on music work, but I fill in where possible with a well known Formula 1 team. The team is split into two truck groups, around four on the race team carrying the cars and pit/garage equipment, and the ‘brand centre’, the hospitality centre where guests are entertained on race day, which composes of 15 trucks. I have driven the race team trucks, but am mainly involved in the ‘brand centre’ and have always double driven them. This time however I was to get my own truck! (The Mercedes Actros below, obviously – admin).
As Spa is only a short hop from England we were to be taken out by coach to collect the trucks, so we departed the factory at 08:30 on the Tuesday after the race, and had an uneventful trip to Dover. The trip on P&O’s Pride of Kent was made more bearable as we managed to persuade the steward in the driver’s restaurant that we were truck drivers, by myself producing my bunch of keys, and so we got a subsidised meal! Once on the other side it took a couple of hours to reach the hotel at Leige, pausing at the Belgian border to buy our vignette for the next day, then it was a quick meal and drink and it was bed time.
In the morning we left the hotel at 07:30 and the coach took us to the circuit, pausing briefly to let an oncoming cow pass on the hard shoulder! On route we were handed our truck keys, an itinery and a float. We were given instructions regarding the Toll Collect purchase, but we had already decided to miss Germany and go via Luxembourg. On arrival we headed for our trucks. They had been loaded and parked up after the race by the riggers, and were the only trucks left save for one solitary Red Bull M.A.N. I was driving the central atrium, similar to the truck I normally double drive, but slightly longer, and as I was to find later slightly wider! Once the tacho was in it was a walk round check, and fill in the defect book. I was going to run with three other trucks, all are fitted with private radio similar to CB’s, and we checked in with each other as we became ready to leave as we were scattered over the paddock area. After joining the motorway it wasn’t long before we peeled off, and took to the A Roads heading for Luxembourg. I have done this route before, and not only do you miss the hassle of stopping to get Toll Collect sorted, the scenery is lovely. We did hit a snag though, the A Road was being repaired, so we were diverted onto a B Road, the front truck missing the diversion sign and having to find somewhere to turn round. This road was just wide enough for two trucks to pass, but the locals were not interested in slowing down, probably annoyed at having to be diverted, so it was slow right down, judge where the edge of the road was, and shut your eyes! Amazingly no mirrors were smashed, and as another six of our trucks had followed us off the motorway was had a nice line of cars behind us! Eventually we rejoined the A Road, and this then turned back into motorway so progress quickened. Then without warning the motorway ended, and we were once again diverted into a town with more traffic lights than I have ever seen in one place. The signs for the motorway disappeared, and when they reappeared they were very vague, and it was a bit messy finding our way back onto it, but we made it.
As we rejoined the motorway we heard the four trucks on the radio that had travelled via Germany. They were behind us, so even with our diversion and being held up in the town we had chosen the quicker route. We exited Luxembourg, taking the obligatory route around the customs post (why do you still have to do this?) and once into France it wasn’t long before we stopped for a coffee and ice cream, and to reform our little group. The team like you to travel in twos or a group purely in case of any problems, although it is not obligatory, but I find once a small group start a bit a banter the journey passes much quicker, plus it’s nice to have someone to talk to when you stop for your break. From our coffee stop it was another two hours to our overnight stop at Macon Truckstop. After dieseling up we parked the trucks, drew the curtains, and headed across the road to our hotel-no cabbing it in this game (unless you are in one of the Stobart teams!).
Thursday morning dawned grey and murky, and we left Macon at first light. The fog patched soon gave way to glorious sunshine, and I was looking forward to today, as we were heading for Italy, my favourite country. My brief was to transit the Mont Blanc Tunnel and stop at Aosta, as my truck needed Convoi Exceptionnel signage and lights putting on for Italy as it was 1m too long.
As we headed for the tunnel I remarked to my mate on the radio that I would be happier using the Frejus tunnel, as this load looked wide, and the Blanc is quite narrow. He assured me it would be fine, and they only ever had difficulties in using the tunnel from the Italian side, famous last words! The scenery heading towards Mont Blanc is stunning, and even better in the early morning sun, I was thoroughly enjoying myself.
We pulled into the check point at the bottom of the mountain, where you are measured electronically and have to declare if you have hazardous or a fridge motor running. If you miss this checkpoint incidentally and arrive at the top without a ticket, you are sent all the way to the bottom again to get one. Several other team trucks went straight through, and as I stopped at the booth the conversation went something along these lines:
Clerk: ‘You are too wide’.
Me: ’I take exception to that, how rude!’.
Clerk: ‘You are too long’.
Me: ’Well make your mind up, is it long or wide?’.
Clerk: ‘You are 2.65m, only 2.55 allowed’.
Me: ‘Nope, it’s normal width and length, we have been coming through here for the past 4 years no problem’.
Clerk: ‘Nope, refused, escort at 17:00 (it was now 10:00)’
Me: ‘You are joking? 17:00? That’s taking the p#ss’.
Clerk: ‘Yes, you are convoy exceptionnel so escort at 20:00’.
Me: ‘eh? What is this an auction? You said 17:00’.
And so it went on, for about five minutes actually! Eventually I pulled to one side, and radioed the lead driver who was about 10 minutes behind me, he will sort it I thought………
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