Reading some of our pieces, it seems a bunch of us, for various reasons, are having trouble sleeping at night. As we all try to make the best of negative circumstances, my being up, sometimes, all night, has given me the “opportunity” to “experience” television shows, that if I wasn’t living like a vampire, I would never see. I don’t have to tell you, there are good and bad. My wife used to tape some of this “entertainment”, I would exchange VHS’s when I came home and would watch them when I had the chance OTR. That’s how I got hooked on the Sopranos, NCIS, Grey’s Anatomy and others.
I’ve seen the Food Network go from good to worse, taking the enjoyable task of cooking and making it a cheap competition. I’m not impressed with anyone’s ability to prepare a meal I would never eat in a “gladiator – coliseum” type venue, with three cranky picky critics judging the outcome. I love food, but couldn’t care less about the yelling, screaming and threatening a chef does behind kitchen doors. Two or possibly three shows that mirror each other, have an experienced chef go into a failing restaurant somewhere. Most of them seem to be in creepy places like Rt. 46 in New Jersey. 48 hours later, with a minimal budget, he transforms everything – the people, the food, the décor and the menu – only to have the place magically reopen with a huge crowd outside just waiting to try yet another version of spaghetti and meatballs.
I’ve done a post on the ice truckers, the forest cutters, the beauty salon conversions, the little fat Yale graduate that tries to kill himself stuffing his face with plates of food for four all by himself, the NJ – NY – CA housewives, the stressful home rebuilding, the dysfunctional fashion shows featuring models seemingly suffering from food disorders, the inside look at rehab, the lives of dwarfs, sorry, little people, the kids who go to jail to get scared “straight” and cops, detectives, the “Dog” – the bounty hunter – OMG, have I missed something? I’m sure I have. Hey, what about that NYC cab that lights up inside when you get in and you have to answer impossibly difficult questions or get thrown out.
On the nights that I pass on an Ambien, I flip. Bring up the guide for the now 1003 channels now offered by Brighthouse – 1/2 of which are high def and the other, not. I could never do this in the truck. Yes, there are those rigs with satellites, but I never wanted the hassle of having to “erect” a mini base station pointed South, or wherever, to watch what was already taped for me. Besides, I usually didn’t sit that much where I would have the time to just flip. I always saw those “jumbo” sleepers, driven by Allied and the other van line owner – operators. Even more impressive were the step deck trucks run by the folks that transport the big airline aircraft engines everywhere.
They would pull into West Memphis and stake their claim on a spot far in the corner of the Petro. Some would get a motel room, but others would grab ahold of the polish dude walking around the lot and put him to work. Out came the grill, the speakers and the satellite dish. The wife would grab a ride to Sam’s Club for beef and the next thing you know it was tail gate city with the game or Nascar on the large screen TV. That’s extreme trucking, the kind most of us company drivers, never experienced.
Sooo, I see this show advertised called “Missouri Truck Stop”. I said to myself, self, I’ve got to check this out. I also read about it in a recent post (8/5) here in this blog by our own Lindsay Goodfree. My schedule of cable and network shows is pretty full. My wife’s stuff gets priority, so with Fons and Porter, scrapbooking this and crafting that, then my stuff, there is little space for other new shows. That’s where being up most of the night helps. And, such was the case last night, when going up and down the “offerings”, there was this “truck stop” show.
I may or may not have stopped at the place in the show, I just can’t recall. From the looks of it, I might have passed it and gone elsewhere. The owner, who claims to have been in paradise somewhere down under, came back to take over the family business, which centers around a truck stop. There is a motel, expo
hall and a few other businesses, a tattoo parlor as well. The guy is, of course, a natural on camera. His employees are unlike any of the folks I ever saw at a truck stop. They actually seems to have a modicum of intelligence as well as personality.
I think I watched two episodes, back to back. Both were terrible. The owner had a large crowd, his description, of about 12 “locals” to watch when a cow would poop. The grass below was spray painted to be like a bingo board. If the cow did her thing on “your” spot, you would win money and donate it to a good cause. Well, the cow “stands” there, 12 people are looking at the animal, both waiting. Nothing happens. What TV! OK, the farmer brings in another cow who does what nature intended and everybody cheers. About $450 is raised for the Alzheimer’s. Disgusting. I wasn’t amused.
I won’t waste your time, as this “show” did mine. There was no “Life On The Road” aspect to it. No focus on the truckers or family stories of the hardship and/or joys of being on the road. We see a goofy salesman trying to sell the owner powder-less rubber gloves while he tries to enjoy the great meatloaf (his words) offered by his truck stop. Some woman wants to buy a pig, but only after they go into his motel to try and give it a bath. A blond cougar runs out of gas. Another salesman tries push a better more expensive coffee, again, on the owner, who wants to have the reputation of having the best “”joe” off I-70.
When it was all over, I pondered – what idiot dreamed this nonsense up. I want a tape of the meeting where this “concept” was sold to the network. Something like thrift stores bidding on storage units, when the renters fail to pay up, and then we see what “surprises” are inside is an interesting concept. It’s quirky enough to get me hooked on it, in fact, I think I watched about 10 episodes in a row, when I couldn’t sleep last week.
“Movin’ On” was a decent show about truckers. That was back in 1974-76. The ice thing with trucks, isn’t about life on the road, neither, for sure, is “Missouri Truck Stop. What it is, for sure, is a cheesy infomercial for the Midway Truck Stop. It’s on the Travel Channel, by the way.
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