Earlier this week my husband lost his maternal grandmother. She was 87 years old. Unfortunately for me I didn’t get to meet her before dementia began to take over her memory and her life. This week I enjoyed family stories of “Granny” and pictures as well.
My husband was fortunate to have an employer who made sure he was here for this time when he needed to be with his family. There was a time when that wasn’t so.
Just a year after we married and very shortly after my husband began long haul trucking, my father passed away. I can’t remember the circumstances, but he was home at the time this happened. I do remember that by the time he got back into the truck, it was considerable time without the wheels rolling, which meant an absent paycheck. I don’t have to tell you, that didn’t help the already overwhelming circumstances at hand.
I am sorry to say that in a 4-year span I lost many loved ones. The following year, I lost my grandfather. At the time of his death my husband was in El Paso. He went through hell trying to get back home and once he could head back to the Alabama he had to practically drive himself to death to make it. He was much younger then. If he needed to do that today, I don’t think he would physically nor mentally make it.
This scenario repeats itself unfortunately over the next few years. So, not only are you dealing with the death of a loved one, the processes you must go through and the mental and physical fatigue that takes over, you have to deal with constant frustrations of trying to get home.
I will be honest and tell you that I in my ignorance I hated the trucking industry during these years. Not only for dealing with the loss of loved ones, but for many reasons.
I don’t know about today, but 15 years ago orientation for truck drivers was information to make sure you kept up with all they needed in order to prosper. They didn’t offer instruction on living life on the road. Money problems surrounded us like sharks circling lunch. Learning to basically have two households on our paychecks was learned the hard way. They may have “touched” on the subject of “be sure you learn to budget your money”, but they fell very short of helping you to anticipate problems unique to this lifestyle.
There were times I felt the hard way lessons were going to either end my marriage, or land me in prison for murder. I at the time treated my husband as if he was the problem. Of course as I grew older and hopefully a little wiser, I know now he was not to blame for the trucking industry’s methods.
I do think he could have been more intent to help with the juggling of everything in order to survive. But in reality there really was no other solution other than it became my responsibility. Now let me say here it is not my intention to turn this into a pity party. Lord knows I have thrown myself some grand pity parties. This was reality for us. Every household and family has their own ways of handling life. I do think that I can’t possibly be alone in this expereince as it applies to me.
Maybe some truck drivers are able to climb into a truck and deal with the transition smoothly. I just know that for a while, we felt lost in our own jungles.
Now jump ahead to the world of “leasing” your “own” truck and becoming an owner operator. Orientation is jacked up a few notches. Much more information of how you must work to make sure they prosper. I know these companies are in business for money, but honestly I think they would benefit even more if they took the time to guide the drivers on the best way to live life on the road across the board.
Was there instruction for those who had never “owned” a business? No. Was there instruction on dealing with taxes while leasing your truck and being an “owner” operator? No. Telling a driver to set “some” money aside for taxes does not cover the whole process.
While were headed to the cemetery yesterday being thankful that my husband was home without major frustration hit me. Which brought up all these old memories. I am the wife of a truck driver so I can only speak from my point of view of this way of life.
I still don’t understand why truck drivers do not have the same benefits others find in their jobs. Why can’t a trucking company offer a couple of days paid bereavement leave? Why can’t truckers earn at least a few days of sick leave? Why can’t trucking companies offer earned vacation time? My husband now works for a much smaller company and they even offer paid holidays. So why can’t these huge companies offer the same? Am I missing something?
Maybe there are logical answers that those of you who drive for these companies may know of. I so far haven’t figured out why the truck driver can’t have these benefits.
If you are young and married and just starting out in this career, please don’t think I am saying life is horrible once you choose this profession. But, I advise you to take the time to research and look at choices you need to make in order to balance this kind of life.
I do not hate this industry today. I try to see things, as more “it is what it is”. Those of you who work in this industry and are working to make positive changes I support and encourage you to keep on. I am also thankful for many things that I did not remotely think of being grateful for when we first started this lifestyle. But more importantly I respect the drivers. I did not respect the truck driver or try to see that side of this scenario very well if not at all in the beginning. Good or bad drivers are not dealing with life the way most others can and do.
Take care and stay safe,
KJ
If you liked that post, then try these...
No comments:
Post a Comment