Saturday, 25 June 2011

Trying To Remember

As I get older and I deal with some chronic health issues, the fact that my memory is loosing power frightens me. Not so long ago it was my long-term memory that was called into question. My family would talk about some event when I was young and I would have no memory of the incident. Then it got to where my kids would talk about something when they were young and I would have no memory. When this would happen it would bother me. Other people’s memories seemed so much clearer than mine or I was just plain lost as to what they were talking about.

In the past four to five years the long-term memory process has worsened. People will tell about conversations I had with them and I absolutely do not know what they are talking about. Here is a comical example. My husband likes “tractor-pulls”.  You go and watch tractors of all sizes and models pull large heavy objects. I personally do not see the need to even remotely sit through such a thing as that. I can enjoy a  drag strip visit every few years, but the tractor pulls?  No thank you.

My husband swears he took me to a tractor pull in the early years of our relationship, before we got married. I solemnly swear I do not think I have ever attended a tractor pull. I mean not even an inkling of some fuzzy memory. I personally think he is making it up just to try and lure me back to one of those events. He claims I enjoyed it. That statement in itself raises red flags about whether it is true.  Either way if I did somehow get myself talked into such a way to spend my time, I have no memory of it.

Now my short-term memory is loosing power. I know the aging process, stress, medications and all kinds of other variables can affect your memory. I also know that part of my health issues is known to cause memory problems, more so with remembering words. Which is very frustrating when tying to carry on an intelligent conversation and I suddenly stop, mid sentence, trying to grab the word from my memory. It can be embarrassing.

Here lately, more than ever, I will have moments about events or conversations and I don’t know if I dreamed it or if it really happened. 

Before I go further, I am not in a corner somewhere in the fetal position not able to function or remember my name. It is not extreme, but it is noticeable. It really, really bothers me. I work all kinds of word puzzles because I heard it helps keep your brain moving so to speak. I do a large amount of reading and I will make myself work at remembering something I am having trouble recalling.

Alzheimer’s scare me more than cancer, heart attack or just about anything else. The thought of completely loosing my memory to the point of not knowing my kids or everyday tasks such as getting dressed really scares me.

Today I read an article about a new test of spinal fluid that may be able to detect Alzheimer’s early. They say this test may have the ability to separate normal reduction in memory as we age to actual onset of Alzheimer’s. There are two proteins that are off balance in people who have Alzheimer’s. They tend to have low levels of beta amyloid and higher levels of tau protein.

Researchers at the Technical University, Munich, Germany tested 58 subjects who had slight memory problems, called mild cognitive impairment in medical terms. Now here is the results I find disturbing; 21 people in that study developed Alzheimer’s. Does that not seem high to you?  21 out of 58 went from slight memory problems to confirmation of Alzheimer’s.

27 still had slight memory problems and 8 people went back to their normal cognitive health. The study showed those who advance into Alzheimer’s have high levels of soluble amyloid precursor protein beta in their spinal fluid than those who did not later advance to Alzheimer’s. I don’t know the bio-chemistry around that protein, so I will just leave it up to the scientist who do.

I learned that some 26 million people have Alzheimer’s.  The disease is fatal and is the most common form of dementia. Current drugs only help symptoms, but as of today there is not a drug that can arrest Alzheimer’s.

I will be going back to my doctor in just a few weeks and I have never talked to him about my memory problems. I think I sub-consciously am afraid to discover something. Silly I know, but I think it is a form of denial. This visit however, I am going to talk to him about it. It may be nothing. I am nearly 50 and maybe it is normal. I don’t know what  50 year old folks should be feeling. Inside I still feel very young. The rest of me stubbornly changes with the movement of time. I am of the opinion that getting old is not for the weak.

I pray that research finds a way to detect this disease very early and then I pray they find an answer of how to completely stop this very scary disease.

I hope you are well, take care and stay safe,

KJ

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